Friday, 31 August 2007
Monday, 27 August 2007
A strange Day
Today was strange. For some reason I physically feel fine. Better then i have in a while to be honest. Emotionally though I feel battered. I have no idea why. There are a few things that happened over the weekend that affected me, but nothing very drastic. I dunno. I'm probably just seeing ghosts where there is nothing.
I had a very strange dream last night. I am pretty sure its told me a lot about how and why i feel the way i do. It just depends on how you interpret it. It was one of those rare dreams that despite the fact i woke up some 8-9 hrs ago i can remember the majority of it clearly. It also had a lot people in it I associate with regularly. I'm not going to describe what happened, even if i wanted too (which i dont really, was a private dream) I couldn't properly. My dreams tend to be very abstract in what physically happens with very strong emotions that run in the undercurrent. This dream was no different.
I know this blog has been largely pointless but i needed to air my thoughts. I've been telling people i am Fine the last couple of days which is not exactly the truth. I'm not sure how i feel at the moment, or even why. I feel a bit like a battered leaf in a storm. Just waiting for the next strong breeze to blow me into another calamity. I'm probably being a bit melodramatic, but who knows. Maybe i'm not being dramatic enough? Time will tell.
I had a very strange dream last night. I am pretty sure its told me a lot about how and why i feel the way i do. It just depends on how you interpret it. It was one of those rare dreams that despite the fact i woke up some 8-9 hrs ago i can remember the majority of it clearly. It also had a lot people in it I associate with regularly. I'm not going to describe what happened, even if i wanted too (which i dont really, was a private dream) I couldn't properly. My dreams tend to be very abstract in what physically happens with very strong emotions that run in the undercurrent. This dream was no different.
I know this blog has been largely pointless but i needed to air my thoughts. I've been telling people i am Fine the last couple of days which is not exactly the truth. I'm not sure how i feel at the moment, or even why. I feel a bit like a battered leaf in a storm. Just waiting for the next strong breeze to blow me into another calamity. I'm probably being a bit melodramatic, but who knows. Maybe i'm not being dramatic enough? Time will tell.
Friday, 24 August 2007
Tuesday, 21 August 2007
Quote of the Day
"Four years ago Kevin Rudd got drunk and took himself into a strip club," he said. "Four years ago John Howard, sober, took Australia into the Iraq war. I think the electorate could judge which one did the more harm."
- Bob Brown, Leader of the Australian Greens Political Party
- Bob Brown, Leader of the Australian Greens Political Party
Open Fire!
This Song reminds me of my last days at high school. I had to sing this song in front of the whole school. Been a favorite song ever since :)
Sunday, 19 August 2007
What a Day!
Its finally over. The Sunday I've been silently dreading, but also slightly looking forward too is over. What a day it was too!
Woke up at a dreaded 6:45am, earlier but quite a bit then any weekday! Had a quick shower (had already shaved, washed hair ect the night before :p ) and got dressed. Wore my full Dress Pants, nice long sleeve shirt and Full Diner Jacket. Basically a suit minus a tie. I like wearing nice clothes so I was happy. Waited for Kane to get ready and we were both dressed up nice and off to Clive's at 7:45.
At Clive's we transfered to Clive's car, picked up Jayde, then Serena and headed off with a full car and a ton of nerves (least i did :P ). Despite having actually got a decent night sleep the night before *shock horror!* i was almost falling asleep in the car. That didn't last long though, by the time we were 3-4mins away, i had woken myself up fully and was thinking about what i had to do.
There was not as many people there as i expected there to be. Still PLENTY though I'm telling you! We arrived at about 8:50ish and the dancing was to start at 9:30. I knew my family was coming and they arrived at around 9:50. They actually timed it pretty well. They had a chance to settle down and meet all my new friends and people i spend all my time with. They all got along awesomely which made me extremely happy. Before i knew it my first dance was up, modern waltz.
God i was nervous. Although i put my focus totally onto doing what i was taught, so much so that i didn't give conscious thought to my nerves, deep down i could feel it stirring. Me and Serena walked out on the floor and i realised there was only 1 other couple in this dance! If anything that made it harder because i knew the judges would spend a lot of time watching me. It couldn't have gone any better. I made some little mistakes, like poor footwork on some close changes, but i kept in time, i kept my Topline (i think lol!), and i remembered all the steps. I could feel shaking through the dancing i thought it was me during the dancing but afterwards i mentioned it to Serena and turned out she was shaking from nerves for me! Shes such a sweety, I'm so lucky that I've got such a talented nice person for a dance partner. If you read this Serena, thanks a million!
I walked off the floor of the waltz in a slightly euphoric state. I couldn't believe that i had pulled off the dance without one hitch, despite all the pressure. Was a major relief, and a huge confidence boost. My next dance wasn't until after a presentation ceremony for the first set of dances. So quite a while away. To my utter amazement, the presentation ceremony came for that set of dances and some how i had managed to win my dance. I couldn't believe it. First ever comp dance and i won!
Next Dance was Square Rumba. A fairly Easy dance, apart from the timing. As long as you get the timing, everything is fine. Luckily i nailed the timing perfectly and just went into autopilot. I walked away from this dance feeling confident. Next Dance was Merralyn and this wasn't for AGESSSSSSSS.
The Presentation for Rumba came up in the mean time and i somehow managed to get a win there too! At this stage i was elated. First two comp dances ever and i won. My parents were absolutely thrilled. My mum was in tears happy and my dad had the hugest smile on his face. I really happy to see them happy.
Finally, Merralyn came up. If anything this dance was the one i was the most worried about. Every part of the dance i could do pretty good EXCEPT the end transition section. When i was relaxed i do it fine, but when i get nervous i tend to stuff it up a bit. I was fine though, i managed to nail this dance just as good as the previous two. Kane had to sabotage me by taking Jadye out right in front of me, but i think i can forgive him for that :P
I managed to pull off a third for Merralyn. I was stoked with that, because i personally thought i could of done a lot better in places. But hey, two firsts and a third? All i can say is WOW! I didnt expect to get a thing. I can't believe i managed to do so well in my first ever dance comp.
To all my friends, family I love you all so much for being there to support me. I SERIOUSLY could not have done it without you all.
Woke up at a dreaded 6:45am, earlier but quite a bit then any weekday! Had a quick shower (had already shaved, washed hair ect the night before :p ) and got dressed. Wore my full Dress Pants, nice long sleeve shirt and Full Diner Jacket. Basically a suit minus a tie. I like wearing nice clothes so I was happy. Waited for Kane to get ready and we were both dressed up nice and off to Clive's at 7:45.
At Clive's we transfered to Clive's car, picked up Jayde, then Serena and headed off with a full car and a ton of nerves (least i did :P ). Despite having actually got a decent night sleep the night before *shock horror!* i was almost falling asleep in the car. That didn't last long though, by the time we were 3-4mins away, i had woken myself up fully and was thinking about what i had to do.
There was not as many people there as i expected there to be. Still PLENTY though I'm telling you! We arrived at about 8:50ish and the dancing was to start at 9:30. I knew my family was coming and they arrived at around 9:50. They actually timed it pretty well. They had a chance to settle down and meet all my new friends and people i spend all my time with. They all got along awesomely which made me extremely happy. Before i knew it my first dance was up, modern waltz.
God i was nervous. Although i put my focus totally onto doing what i was taught, so much so that i didn't give conscious thought to my nerves, deep down i could feel it stirring. Me and Serena walked out on the floor and i realised there was only 1 other couple in this dance! If anything that made it harder because i knew the judges would spend a lot of time watching me. It couldn't have gone any better. I made some little mistakes, like poor footwork on some close changes, but i kept in time, i kept my Topline (i think lol!), and i remembered all the steps. I could feel shaking through the dancing i thought it was me during the dancing but afterwards i mentioned it to Serena and turned out she was shaking from nerves for me! Shes such a sweety, I'm so lucky that I've got such a talented nice person for a dance partner. If you read this Serena, thanks a million!
I walked off the floor of the waltz in a slightly euphoric state. I couldn't believe that i had pulled off the dance without one hitch, despite all the pressure. Was a major relief, and a huge confidence boost. My next dance wasn't until after a presentation ceremony for the first set of dances. So quite a while away. To my utter amazement, the presentation ceremony came for that set of dances and some how i had managed to win my dance. I couldn't believe it. First ever comp dance and i won!
Next Dance was Square Rumba. A fairly Easy dance, apart from the timing. As long as you get the timing, everything is fine. Luckily i nailed the timing perfectly and just went into autopilot. I walked away from this dance feeling confident. Next Dance was Merralyn and this wasn't for AGESSSSSSSS.
The Presentation for Rumba came up in the mean time and i somehow managed to get a win there too! At this stage i was elated. First two comp dances ever and i won. My parents were absolutely thrilled. My mum was in tears happy and my dad had the hugest smile on his face. I really happy to see them happy.
Finally, Merralyn came up. If anything this dance was the one i was the most worried about. Every part of the dance i could do pretty good EXCEPT the end transition section. When i was relaxed i do it fine, but when i get nervous i tend to stuff it up a bit. I was fine though, i managed to nail this dance just as good as the previous two. Kane had to sabotage me by taking Jadye out right in front of me, but i think i can forgive him for that :P
I managed to pull off a third for Merralyn. I was stoked with that, because i personally thought i could of done a lot better in places. But hey, two firsts and a third? All i can say is WOW! I didnt expect to get a thing. I can't believe i managed to do so well in my first ever dance comp.
To all my friends, family I love you all so much for being there to support me. I SERIOUSLY could not have done it without you all.
Thursday, 16 August 2007
Visonary Soul
| You Are a Visionary Soul |
 You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul |
Tuesday, 14 August 2007
The Return to a Students Life.
Well, not exactly.
But from tomorrow I will be studying part time on top of working full time. Fortunately, my boss is a great guy, and because i am studying to make myself more qualified to fulfill my rolls at work, There is a chance that work is going to help me pay for certain aspects of the course.
Either way, my Wednesday mornings will now involve me trekking to Tafe for study. I'll be redoing some Cert IV things before starting on my Diploma next semester. Which should then set me up to complete several other specialist courses afterwards.
I'm quite looking forward to it. I miss the laid back cruisy life that is so easy to take advantage of when you know nothing else. When your young and being a student is all you've ever known, its so easy to take it for granted. After you've actually experienced the workplace a little you realise how nice it is to have such a easy time.
But from tomorrow I will be studying part time on top of working full time. Fortunately, my boss is a great guy, and because i am studying to make myself more qualified to fulfill my rolls at work, There is a chance that work is going to help me pay for certain aspects of the course.
Either way, my Wednesday mornings will now involve me trekking to Tafe for study. I'll be redoing some Cert IV things before starting on my Diploma next semester. Which should then set me up to complete several other specialist courses afterwards.
I'm quite looking forward to it. I miss the laid back cruisy life that is so easy to take advantage of when you know nothing else. When your young and being a student is all you've ever known, its so easy to take it for granted. After you've actually experienced the workplace a little you realise how nice it is to have such a easy time.
Monday, 13 August 2007
Quote of the Day
Love can take many forms. Some Love comes unexpected, sweeping through us like a hot summer breeze. Some Love grows and ripens from the fields of Friendship.
- Raymond Fiest, Magician
- Raymond Fiest, Magician
Sunday, 12 August 2007
End of an Era.
Yesterday, me and my best friend ended the reign of House Atreides.
House Atreides was a gaming clan we started in a game called freelancer. We started the clan two years ago as two noobs. We thought we were pretty good, but the next 6 months taught us how much we didn't know. Our goal when we started the clan was simply to try and take a system or two, and be respected. Little did we realise how much farther our clan would go...
I wont go into a detailed history of how we rose to power. But within 6 months of founding are clan wasn't only respected, it was one of only 3 clans to have reached the status of a "super-power" on the server we played. No other clan, except for the two other "superpowers" stood a chance against us, and even they couldn't stand against our 100% A team.
However, after two years and literally hundreds of battles (90% of which we won), we have dropped all our systems, and closed our doors. This moment was extremely sad for a lot of us. The people in this clan have become like an extended family for me. All of them are close companions that have enriched my life by untold amounts in the last two years.
I can seriously say, my life wouldn't be no where near as happy now if it wasn't for this game. Because of this Game and the Clan we started together, me and Kane became very good friends. I would actually say Kane is my best friend. Through him I've met a half dozen other people that have made my life so much better. Laura, Serena, Buff, Greg, Clive, Shelda, gosh even Logan and Morgan, without any of them my life now wouldn't be the same. I spend the majority of my time these days in the company of these people, and i wouldn't change it for a second. I love them all.
Its with a heavy heart i say goodbye to this game. People who say computer games are bad for you, don't know what there talking about. This game literally changed my life majorly for the better. It helped me get away from things that were dragging me down not to mention the countless hours of entertainment the game itself provided.
Goodbye Atreides. You've been good to me.
House Atreides was a gaming clan we started in a game called freelancer. We started the clan two years ago as two noobs. We thought we were pretty good, but the next 6 months taught us how much we didn't know. Our goal when we started the clan was simply to try and take a system or two, and be respected. Little did we realise how much farther our clan would go...
I wont go into a detailed history of how we rose to power. But within 6 months of founding are clan wasn't only respected, it was one of only 3 clans to have reached the status of a "super-power" on the server we played. No other clan, except for the two other "superpowers" stood a chance against us, and even they couldn't stand against our 100% A team.
However, after two years and literally hundreds of battles (90% of which we won), we have dropped all our systems, and closed our doors. This moment was extremely sad for a lot of us. The people in this clan have become like an extended family for me. All of them are close companions that have enriched my life by untold amounts in the last two years.
I can seriously say, my life wouldn't be no where near as happy now if it wasn't for this game. Because of this Game and the Clan we started together, me and Kane became very good friends. I would actually say Kane is my best friend. Through him I've met a half dozen other people that have made my life so much better. Laura, Serena, Buff, Greg, Clive, Shelda, gosh even Logan and Morgan, without any of them my life now wouldn't be the same. I spend the majority of my time these days in the company of these people, and i wouldn't change it for a second. I love them all.
Its with a heavy heart i say goodbye to this game. People who say computer games are bad for you, don't know what there talking about. This game literally changed my life majorly for the better. It helped me get away from things that were dragging me down not to mention the countless hours of entertainment the game itself provided.
Goodbye Atreides. You've been good to me.
An Update.
Well, my life has been busy lately. Anybody who reads my blog will no doubt notice I haven't been posting no where near as regularly. I'll be honest, it wasn't just my busy schedule that had dulled my urge to write, I had no inspiration. Certain things were getting me down and that dulled my need to express my thoughts. One of my biggest personality flaws i see in myself, is when i am unhappy I become Dark, brooding and anti-social.
Still I'm not unhappy :) I never was really, just not as content as i tried to convince myself with the current situation i'm in. One thing that is making me happy is dancing. I have my first comp this sunday coming up, so seven days from now. I am really nervous but i think I'll do ok. I know the dances i am meant to do well and i am confident doing them. My partner is awesome and I'll have all of my closest friends there to support me. It should be a great day, no matter how I dance.
Well i have to head off, I'm going on a picnic with my family. Should be a nice day. I'll try and post more often.
Still I'm not unhappy :) I never was really, just not as content as i tried to convince myself with the current situation i'm in. One thing that is making me happy is dancing. I have my first comp this sunday coming up, so seven days from now. I am really nervous but i think I'll do ok. I know the dances i am meant to do well and i am confident doing them. My partner is awesome and I'll have all of my closest friends there to support me. It should be a great day, no matter how I dance.
Well i have to head off, I'm going on a picnic with my family. Should be a nice day. I'll try and post more often.
Saturday, 4 August 2007
Thursday, 2 August 2007
I've been slack.
So this post isn't going to be about any one thing, but a multitude.
My life has been really busy lately. Between dancing, work and the DotA team i am trying to get off the ground i rarely have a lot of completely free time. I don't mind it though. I tend to get Dark and Brooding if i am bored for long periods of time. I'm trying to avoid this state of mind if possible :)
Dancing is going well. Every lesson seems to underline to me how much I've learnt, but how far i still have to go. My first competition is drawing closer by the day and the more i think about that the more nervous i get. Sooooo I'm trying to totally avoid thinking of it :P But that is much easier said then done.
Work has been a right pain in the ass. Dad's been stressing ridiculously over things he cant control which is very annoying for me because i have to put up with his bad moods. It doesn't overly bother me but it can be very grating at times. Work is a lot easier and less stressful when the people you are working with aren't always freaking out over every little thing. But its all minor, I do my work and people are happy, I ultimately I'm not that worried in this department.
I've gone out to the movies a few times with Kane and Serena since my last post. Seen Simpsons, Transformers, Harry Potter, basically all the movies worth seeing. HP was probably the best...
Well Not much more to talk about for now. I'll try and start posting again more regularly soon.
My life has been really busy lately. Between dancing, work and the DotA team i am trying to get off the ground i rarely have a lot of completely free time. I don't mind it though. I tend to get Dark and Brooding if i am bored for long periods of time. I'm trying to avoid this state of mind if possible :)
Dancing is going well. Every lesson seems to underline to me how much I've learnt, but how far i still have to go. My first competition is drawing closer by the day and the more i think about that the more nervous i get. Sooooo I'm trying to totally avoid thinking of it :P But that is much easier said then done.
Work has been a right pain in the ass. Dad's been stressing ridiculously over things he cant control which is very annoying for me because i have to put up with his bad moods. It doesn't overly bother me but it can be very grating at times. Work is a lot easier and less stressful when the people you are working with aren't always freaking out over every little thing. But its all minor, I do my work and people are happy, I ultimately I'm not that worried in this department.
I've gone out to the movies a few times with Kane and Serena since my last post. Seen Simpsons, Transformers, Harry Potter, basically all the movies worth seeing. HP was probably the best...
Well Not much more to talk about for now. I'll try and start posting again more regularly soon.
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